A Word (or 700) On Baker, California
You'll see the billboards for 50 miles in every direction. And, being as there's not a hell of a lot within that 50 mile radius, you begin to get almost excited about it. LA is nearly 200 miles behind you, and las Vegas still 100 miles of sand and stale air conditioning ahead. You start feeling the anticipation which can only be associated with billboard promising the 'worlds largest', worlds greatest', 'mysterious', 'shocking', amazing'... the sort of thing that can only be found while on the road. This will be worth it. You've been burned by the Great American Roadside Attraction in the past, but Baker won't be like that. Things will be different this time.
20 miles to go. You've begun scanning the skyline. Surely, on a clear day, The World's Largest Thermometer™ will be visible from this distance. Perhaps you're looking in the wrong place. maybe I-15 curves between now and the town. Another billboard up ahead. It's almost time now. You don't even try to convince yourself otherwise at this point, the Thermometer has eclipsed your final destination and become the focal point of your trip, your day, your life. You will see it, and you will forever walk with the knowledge that you have seen the Worlds largest Thermometer™. 3 miles to go. The anticipation is killing you. Another scan of the horizon, and THERE! You see it. Towering above the shimmering, heat distorted town of Baker, like a lighthouse in the middle of the Mojave. Nothing can destroy this moment. You've been on the road for 4 hours, and your newly realized goal is in sight. The final minutes into town feel like hours. You pull up to the shopping center where the Worlds greatest, tallest, spookiest, most shocking and amazing thermometer™, this towering symbol of mankind's technological and engineering prowess, resides..... and it's a fucking digital thermometer.
A few dozen light bulbs on a concrete block. You spend the remaining hour and a half to Vegas trying to convince yourself that you never cared. That the Worlds Largest Thermometer meant nothing to you. But a small part of you has died, and you know it. The last remaining spark of childish wonder has gone out in your soul, and you'll spend the weekend in Vegas drowning the remaining embers in alcohol and cards.
You'll see the billboards for 50 miles in every direction. And, being as there's not a hell of a lot within that 50 mile radius, you begin to get almost excited about it. LA is nearly 200 miles behind you, and las Vegas still 100 miles of sand and stale air conditioning ahead. You start feeling the anticipation which can only be associated with billboard promising the 'worlds largest', worlds greatest', 'mysterious', 'shocking', amazing'... the sort of thing that can only be found while on the road. This will be worth it. You've been burned by the Great American Roadside Attraction in the past, but Baker won't be like that. Things will be different this time.
20 miles to go. You've begun scanning the skyline. Surely, on a clear day, The World's Largest Thermometer™ will be visible from this distance. Perhaps you're looking in the wrong place. maybe I-15 curves between now and the town. Another billboard up ahead. It's almost time now. You don't even try to convince yourself otherwise at this point, the Thermometer has eclipsed your final destination and become the focal point of your trip, your day, your life. You will see it, and you will forever walk with the knowledge that you have seen the Worlds largest Thermometer™. 3 miles to go. The anticipation is killing you. Another scan of the horizon, and THERE! You see it. Towering above the shimmering, heat distorted town of Baker, like a lighthouse in the middle of the Mojave. Nothing can destroy this moment. You've been on the road for 4 hours, and your newly realized goal is in sight. The final minutes into town feel like hours. You pull up to the shopping center where the Worlds greatest, tallest, spookiest, most shocking and amazing thermometer™, this towering symbol of mankind's technological and engineering prowess, resides..... and it's a fucking digital thermometer.
A few dozen light bulbs on a concrete block. You spend the remaining hour and a half to Vegas trying to convince yourself that you never cared. That the Worlds Largest Thermometer meant nothing to you. But a small part of you has died, and you know it. The last remaining spark of childish wonder has gone out in your soul, and you'll spend the weekend in Vegas drowning the remaining embers in alcohol and cards.
posted by Nick at 9:40 PM
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